I passed out with my beer in the freezer again

How could this happen?

Can't beat a full English on match day👍 pic.twitter.com/JtMpXeEvzc

— dave (@dave94670023) January 14, 2024

Imagine eating those shitty beans people serve at barbecues. They get your hot dog bun all soggy and taste like sugary shit.

I'm working on my plating. Food tastes better if you separate the different parts and clean up the plate before you serve it.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have a craving for eggs so I want to know how dramanauts like their eggs.

Look what happens to sugary drinks if left out for a very long period of time. Gross!

Another vaguely Asian dish (Chinese or Vietnamese depending on what you put in it), this is pretty easy to throw together when you want to make something really good, but you’re too lazy or pressed for time to do anything complicated.

Ingredients:

• Fish sauce – this is the primary flavor in the broth so in this case it is definitely NOT optional.

• Soy sauce

• Rice vinegar or white vinegar

• 6 – 8 scallions, chopped

• Half an onion, sliced

• Vermicelli rice noodles

• Frozen fish balls – my nearby Asian grocery store has a freezer with at least 10 different kinds of these, if not more. If you’re not familiar with them, they’re just pulverized white fish paste formed into balls. They’re going to taste pretty similar to imitation crab, since that is basically the same thing formed into a different shape. You can make them yourself if you have a food processor, but then your kitchen is going to smell like fish for the rest of your life and do you really want to live like that?

• Broth base – I used chicken stock this time because I had a jar and I needed to use it before it went off. It’s good that way, however, a fish based broth might complement the dish better, since the broth is going to pick up most of its other flavor from the fish balls and the fish sauce. Just using water is also not a bad idea if you want it to be more subtle. I thought about using dashi, but you don’t usually see dashi and fish sauce in the same recipe (I think) so I was worried they wouldn’t taste right together. But it might work, who knows?

• Chili flakes and black pepper for spice.

• Half a can of anchovies, chopped into tiny tiny pieces.

Directions:

Cook the rice noodles in a different pot than you are planning to make the soup in. That’s right, this is a two pot recipe. Why, you ask? It’s all going to be soup anyway, right? Here are a couple reasons:

1. Rice noodles are INSANELY starchy. If you try to cook them directly in your soup, they will get cooked just fine, but your broth will be HORRIBLE and if you are serving it to someone you love for dinner they will DUMP YOU and you’ll NEVER GET LAID and you won’t even be able to jack off later because the soup is so bad you CAN’T EVEN GET IT UP ANYMORE.

2. Rice noodles glue themselves to stainless steel worse than any food I have ever seen, even when you’re boiling them in plenty of water, so probably whatever you cook them in is going to need to be retired to soak for the evening. Have a clean pot ready for the soup in case this happens, because it’s probably going to.

The rice noodles should have cooking directions on them but this should work in general for regular, dry vermicelli:

• Boil in water for 15 minutes.

• Drain in a colander. Run cold water over the noodles for a couple minutes until you can touch them with your hands.

• Put a little olive oil or vegetable oil on top of the noodles then mix it in with your hands so it gets on all the noodles. This will keep them from forming one massive noodle ball while you’re cooking.

Heat some olive oil in a pot over medium heat. Add the onion, black pepper, chili flakes, and anchovies and saute them for a little while. This step isn’t typical for this kind of soup, so at this point, you might be questioning whether I know what I’m doing. I don’t, but what I do know is that plenty of recipes for soupy Asian dishes on the internet don’t saute onions at all because that’s just not how they do shit over there, but I’ve tried it, and I don’t like the ultra powerful in your face onion flavor you get by just chucking them directly in the soup. Your mileage may vary, feel free to skip this entire step if you don’t think it’s worth a shit.

Add the broth base. If you decided to use chicken stock, like I did, you’ll want to water it down some. You don’t want this to come out tasting like chicken soup. It’s preferable in this dish if the broth is watery, it will pick up its flavor from the other stuff in it.

Add about 1 tbsp each of soy sauce and fish sauce, and about half that amount of rice vinegar. Also add the fish balls and the scallions. Bring it to a boil and cook it for about 12 minutes.

Add some noodles to a bowl and dump everything else in after. Pretty easy.

I've never made it before and was thinking of keeping it simple and spatchcocking it and just doing salt and pepper. But, I would also like to here some tasty recipes from my fellow because there are some good chefs here.

Quick questions, duck is greasy so:

• do I need to add butter/oil like I usually do when I spatchpeepee chicken and turkey?

• do I need to worry about any flare ups in the oven?

I asked @iStillMissEd for duck cooking advice like a month ago and that CUTE TWINK did not get back to me

While looking for some recipes, I stumbled upon an article that made me mad because this guy's reasons for not liking spatchcocking boils down to him either being a lazy crybaby, a poorcel who doesn't have the space or an extra $10 lying around to buy poultry shears, or he's a master bussyblaster who shit out an article to make people seethe.

A Passionate Plea to Stop Spatchcocking Your Chickens - The name is dumb, and so is the process.

Spatchcocking Does Not Save Time

Many articles will tell you that a spatchcocked bird cooks in less time than non-spatchcocked birds, and while this may be true in some instances, spatchcocking will almost always take more time in the long run. This is because despite how "easy" some reports try to convince you spatchcocking is, it is actually a hassle. It's a hassle to find a surface big enough for prepping the bird. It's a hassle to cut out the spine if you don't have dedicated kitchen shears. It's a hassle to clean those shears if you do have them. It's a hassle to clean your kitchen afterwards, because despite your best efforts, the spatchcocked bird will flop around and brush against your counter and your stand mixer and your knife block—after which you'll tailspin into a frenzy of cleaning because cleaning up after a poultry encounter is the closest most of us will come to becoming Lady MacBeth.

This is the most pants-on-the-head retarded shit I've ever read. Unless it takes him 6+ hours to cut the spine out of a turkey and flatten it, spatchcocking will always be faster. This is the man who struggles with this simple taste

Mfw when my wife comes home with cabernet sauvignon instead of a pinot noir

crema, charred corn (with lime juice, chili powder, smoked paprika), steak, pickled onions, queso fresco, salsa verde

delicioso

I'm doing this new thing where I've consumed nothing but broth for the past 4 days and it's great combined with some cardio I've lost 4 pounds already.

This is a fun novelty cake to make if you want to pretend to have baking skills.

It's really just almond flour cake and apricot jam with some marizipan on the outside

Back again as promised to flex on @pizzashill and @Poj's disgusting animal tier eating habits and bring you, rdrama, my favorite dish in my arsenal: my take on Steak au Poivre. This dish is ridiculously simple and mostly revolves around sauce and a bit of prep. This is truly impossible to frick up and is so good any thot who consumes this will want to consume your sauce as compensation.

Ingredients:

>Couple of shallots (or half an onion if shallots unavailable)

>About 12-16oz of white or baby bella mushrooms

>Garlic

>New york strip steak

>Heavy cream

>A bottle of decent cognac (will heavily recommend Courvoisier VS or VSOP, its subtle notes really come out on this) - im using pierre ferrand 1840 formula.

>Butter

>Salt, black pepper, cumin, coriander, dill weed.

I will not measure fricking anything here, just dont be r-slurred and use your eyeballs.

Prep:

Start by pouring yourself some cognac as you cook and prep because you're not a cute twink b-word.

Next, dice the mushrooms as finely as you can, get real choppy until they are as micro as you can get them. Same thing with the shallots, though in my case its half a white onion because my grocery store didnt have shallots in stock. Take your steaks and season with salt and pepper. Get some garlic pieces minced super fine or just be a chad like me and use a garlic press instead.

Cook:

Chef up those mushrooms over butter and let it really shrink down as it loses water and absorbs all that fat. Season with black pepper and cumin, especially cumin since it pairs well with the shrooms earthy and meaty flavor.

When theyre cooked, set them aside on a plate.

Next up is the steaks, (yes, real steaks @pizzashill, not frozen salisbury steaks) throw them on butter and cook as desired. I prefer rare, you can be a b-word if you want and go medium tho. Once done, set them aside to rest as you continue batching up that sauce.

In the same pan, throw in the onions and let em sweat for a bit. Sprinkle some salt on them and once they're almost done, add garlic and let that cook for like 45s to a min on medium heat. Throw in 2oz of cognac to deglaze the pan and let the onions soak it all up (1 to 3 mins, and you absolutely want to inhale the alcohol fumes to get drunk off them).

Once reduced, heavy cream goes in the pan with butter and the mushrooms. As the sauce reduces, add in black pepper, salt to taste, coriander (for a natural spicy sweetness), cumin and dill weed (dill weed truly shines here.

Throw in a splash of corn starch mixed with water and stir it in to help thicken up the sauce. Stir occasionally and give it time to thicken up/really have the flavors blend in (just keep tasting it once its simmering). Once the sauce is tasting like liquid heaven, cut the steak into strips as thick as desired and plate.

Pour a metric ton of sauce on that shit and enjoy (seriously, dont give a frick about looks, eat the sloppy mess its amazing). You can also plate it over rice or with a side of mashed potatoes to just have the sauce enrich that.

@MrsFrozenClaus, as the resident foid go make this and confirm to the rest of the site that this is in fact so good you'd suck my peepee if I had made it for you irl.

do you like my color coded veggies?

Sauce is bibigo hot and spicy Korean bbq sauce

I just cooked some cause gonna be late at home tomorrow so I meal prepped a lil bit.