Jesus Christ, lady, I hope your book has paragraphs!

Let's chop this up a bit.

...it's in a fantasy setting, it also has a coming of age aspect to it and takes place over about 6 years, and they age from 12-18. im thinking hard about how to write them right in their early ages, like 12-14, and i feel like i'm doing it wrong. i'm putting more focus on their character and specific personalities but i'm wondering if, as a girl, maybe i'm accidentally making them too “girly” and “soft.”

i like to make them enjoy the simple things in life, like exploring and enjoying nature, and they also like to talk about their feelings and their hurts. but is that a thing boys do? im trying to make them realistic but sometimes i forget that i was never a boy and i'll never know what it is like to be a boy. and to top it all off, it's a gay romance (it takes awhile though, so they're just friends in the beginning). it just happened to be that way, i wanted a romance that wasn't straight and i felt my story didn't fit two girls (again, there's a difference but idk what it is!)

... i just want these characters to feel real and not how i “think” they're supposed to be. i can't decide if gender is just a construct and it doesn't matter if they're a boy or a girl, or if their outlook on life IS different and they should be written differently. both? what mistakes should i avoid in writing male leads when i'm not a male?

"Have you tried adding reason and accountability?"

Nah, it's a good question. Writing any type of romance you haven't been in is obviously challenging. Writing the opposite s*x requires observation skills, reading and engaging with their work (a bitter pill for moids), and a healthy imagination. You also have to be able to set aside your preconceptions about how people should work, and your desire to fix them. For example, in this case it's not just that men usually don't talk about our feelings, or that we feel uncomfortable doing so. Often, we don't want to. How do these sorts of things affect a developing gay relationship?

But as usual, /r/writing offers reassurance instead of seriously engaging with an OP who wants real answers. Many also get bogged down making very important points about gender.

It being a fantasy setting changes the answer. Boys/girls/men/women tend to be different but a lot of that is a result of the cultural environment in which they were raised. The jury is still out in exactly what elements are genetic vs environmental. But that largely doesn't matter because environment shapes how behavioural genetics do or do not manifest anyway.

Since this is your setting, gender roles and attitudes can realistically be whatever you want. If you even wanted to aim for realism in the first place. If you want boys to be soft in your setting then they are.

It's MY SETTING, and I get to pick the gender roles!!

If you were writing about two average adolescent boys growing up in Anywhere, USA, I'd say it's pretty unlikely they'd talk deeply about their feelings. Many of us aren't even taught to be aware of our feelings. There are exceptions, of course. But typically, they'd probably mull things over in the privacy of their own heads while doing some other shared activity, like dropping bigger and bigger rocks into a lake, throwing dirt clods at a hornet's nest, or building the coolest tree fort ever.

But this is learned behavior, and gender totally is a social construct. You get to decide what being "male" means in your fantasy world, and whether or not you want to make it analogous to modern western, Judeo-Christian culture.

Actual good advice to tell a story about boys erased in real time by genderslop.

Depends on what your fictional society expects of them and if your fictional society has gender roles they are expected to conform to.

In my fictional society, sexy women with big tits are expected to throw themselves at members of !bookworms and !writecel

Of course you can write a world with different social "rules." But the farther it diverges, the less it has to say about real people in our own world, and the more it has to say about the author's own desires and hangups. Might as well say some coomer's monster girl erotica is commentary about female gender roles.

Given your inspiration, I recommend you research homosexuality and pedecrasty in Sparta and Thebes. I'd also suggest looking at Afghan's Bacha Posh to explore the notion of gender vs construct.

This isn't actually out of nowhere because the full OP mentioned "The Song of Achilles," but lmao

... When writing either gender, it's easy to make characters unbelievably confident or strong in their emotions, knowledge, or physical abilities. Making a teen male emotionally literate stops you having a weakness to their character that would otherwise ring true.

Differentiate your characters from each other. Give them flaws. Let their differences and flaws produce tension. Two guys who are just soft and sensitive and slowly start touching peepees isn't a story. Even a hack writer would make one of them the emotional one and the other the moody, silent one or whatever.

A couple more people actually gave decent advice, like here, but of course low effort "You're perfect just the way you are!" advice is upvoted while interesting stuff is near the bottom.

As a straight man, I'll never understand this trend. If the men in your gay romance act like women, why make them men at all? Reading gay erotica should be a form of escapism where you can imagine loving relationships without having to deal with women. At least, that's why I read it.

https://twitter.com/i/bookmarks

this is going to turn me into the joker pic.twitter.com/BDz8FgWtV8

— and my name is alex (now on bsky) (@DudeExclamation) May 19, 2024

https://twitter.com/manuclearbomb/status/1426363490638483457

A big Simpsons thread from two years ago is getting new traction on Twitter as new generations realize the Sneed show was funny (rip Phil Hartman). However, zoomers are so used to musicals that reheat dead franchises with corny music that they fail to understand why Planet of the Apes: the Musical is funny.

Full clip:

Additional seethe (mostly 15 year olds asking where the shiny lights, references to modern movies, and Rick and Morty references are in a clip that is older than they are):

https://twitter.com/socialnomadrach/status/1791794323425800223

https://twitter.com/sonyplaytation/status/1792336067598881226

https://twitter.com/thegrayfruit/status/1791820189648003214

https://twitter.com/wiiiframe/status/1791918626767020186

I HATE EVERY APE I SEE

FROM CHIMPAN-A TO CHIMPANZEE

Let's check in on the song that the latest season of the Simpsons was advertising in an episode last week by the way, extreme coal warning: https://twitter.com/thesimpsons/status/1789816702869348687

Above was first thread about the drama

Below is the second, bigger and older.

I will add separate comments soon :)

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/?sort=controversial

''all of these threads in asianamerican were astroturfed by white people...right?"

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4i988s/?context=8&sort=controversial

'im afraid that our safe space ThR SRD will be taken over by chuds, this very thread seems astroturfed'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4iajm9/?context=8&sort=controversial

'But ghost of Tsushima exists'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4i522f/?context=8&sort=controversial

'Asian subreddits on reddit are so shit, I fear to acknowledge that I as asian have a reddit account'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4im1al/?context=8&sort=controversial

'Hollywood has an issue with portraying Asian male character, however this isn't a case of that..because Yasuke is very important folk hero'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4i7r8c/?context=8&sort=controversial

' why the frick did Ubisoft make an actual historical figure a main character'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4ia3ji/?context=8&sort=controversial

'I'm an Asian American I'm and I have an issue with this game'

'shut up, it's up to Asian males to speak up and out. To White Hollywood. Just like you guys are making a stink of this. Give the same energy to Hollywood. Let them know you need representation that's positive.

Just like Black Americans.'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4ignf0/?context=8&sort=controversial

'true japanese don't care'

'Oh so theyre japanese when they agree with you and secretly white when they dont

Funny how that works'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cuedus/rasianamerican_is_outraged_at_yasuke_being_the/l4ilqh4/?context=8&sort=controversial

Askhistorians link about Yasuke

Totally fine yet this was written after all the evidence given

'If you've read this and all my other posts and links on Yasuke and still don't believe Yasuke was a samurai, then you either a) prefer to believe your own bias over historical research or b) should post an academic level publication from a PhD level researcher arguing Yasuke wasn't a samurai so I could read it.'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cusf84/im_mad_at_what_we_lost_for_the_sake_of_diversity/l4l8xua/?context=8&sort=controversial

'My assumption is that people whose culture is being put on display want the avatar experiencing their culture to be a direct representation of the average member of that culture rather than a liminal figure.'

'your assumption is wrong because japanese people don't give a shit about AC'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cusf84/im_mad_at_what_we_lost_for_the_sake_of_diversity/l4la2qq/?context=8&sort=controversial

'even if asian men care, they should shut up, women are misrepresented more, black and asian' ( a known twox and srd poster Felinomancy)'

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cusf84/im_mad_at_what_we_lost_for_the_sake_of_diversity/l4lqmvo/?context=8&sort=controversial

CHERRY ON TOP OF THE POST

LONGEST DOWN VOTED COMMENT CHAIN

'Both sides only care about this dude, because his black, he was not that significant in Japanese history at all.

PLUS - OP, the anti chud warrior makes a comment AGAINST HOTEPS AND GETS DOWN VOTED. Only in SRD

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1cusf84/im_mad_at_what_we_lost_for_the_sake_of_diversity/l4ksxax/?context=8&sort=controversial

5300 comments of seethe over the fact that none of these r-slurs know what a bird hotdog is.

This post has it all.

Seething burgers:

seething aussies:

Rare judicial W.

Activision DEI Leaked! Plus:

- Your bonus and review depend on how hard you DEI.

- DEI Officers are installed on every dev team to ensure THE MESSAGE.

Of all the AAA Studios out there, my dev friends and contacts who have come forth tell me that @Ubisoft and @Activision are… pic.twitter.com/TDZqRn6v0o

— Grummz (@Grummz) May 16, 2024

So many slides to say nothing lol. Except they measure every employees sense of belonging with an "inclusion score"? That's some meaningless foid shit.

S2E3: A Allan Adventure 🔴📎 #SmilingFriends pic.twitter.com/hTEUh0y45n

— Badgerclops 🏞️🌊🇵🇸🆓 (@BadgercIops) May 20, 2024

This one made xitter angry https://twitter.com/yoloswagstudios/status/1791146129377185915

He steals the bill before it can be signed into law lmoa

Don't know what the Bill is tho

Most Based Comments

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Ya'll racist as frick. (-48)

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So the joke is just racism? (-52)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔘

[removed] (55)

I don't know why you guys think that the premise described is outlandish. That's literally just Yasuke.Edit to add: Oh you sweet summer children. I thought we all liked facts and logic?Yasuke was a real dude. Did some cool stuff. I don't know why your first impulse is to downvote a neat historical figure. (-44)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

The assassin is a master of disguise! That hangs around the only black man in all of Japan. Whooooooo could this assassin be, I wonder. Sorry, shitty plot is shitty plot. No culture war here. (2)

Darn ! what a brilliant comeback !but id like it the other way around :The assassin is a master of disguise! that hangs around the only WHITE man in all of japan !WHOOOOOOO could this assassin be, I wonder.(its not like the assassin cant stop hanging with him 24/24h or that the enemy cant instantly know who the "anonymous master of disguise" is hanging with even without an intel or that they work separately or the reality that the assassin could blend anyway or find a disguise for his buddy so it wouldn't even matter but what am i even talking about i didnt even read anything about the game in the first place and im coming from a Twitter post made by a man-child screaming WIST HAS FALLIN ! )"B... bu...but noooooo ! its game logic and game writing you stooooopid uncultured shmuk who would care for sush a minor detail ! its all because WYT MAN BAD you filthy **** you are destroying western entertainment!"Yep , probably what we will be hearing from the "other side" , just the same argu... (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Pandering to whom?And you'd have to explain the hypocrisy of including a notable historical figure who was really there. (1)

Pandering to the "woke" crowd and "minorities."And the hypocrisy lies not in including a guy that was there, but in the fact any and every time there's been a white character being portrayed where you wouldn't expect them, the same people who get up in arms are the ones that act like anyone who criticizes the same thing with a non white character is a racist and stupid etc.You used the mermaid as an example, let's go with that. First off, just write a new character into the same universe and boom, you take away any argument people have against it. It's not Ariel, it's her sister or some shit. But they changed an established character, people didn't like it, they're condemned as racists and ignorant and "it's a fictional mermaid why do you care."But I can promise you, do the same thing in reverse, let's say making Blade white, and those same exact people saying it doesn't matter you racist etc would be crying whitewash from the mountaintop. (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

yea just like you fricking weirdos complained about how you couldnt blend in ac valhalla because youre a fricking viking oh waitnone of you complained about it then. I wonder what the difference is this time? (3)

Same people that you wouldn't hear a word when nioh 1 came out. I hate this type of racism because it's concealed and it shows up in nasty ways I'd rather have someone just bluntly be racist than go and pull 13 random excuses outta they asses just so they can hate on a black man being the main chracter (3)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/tactical_anal_RPG

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🐮🔘

Number of comments: 11

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡😡🔘🔘

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

NEW: Subscribe to /h/miners to see untapped drama veins, ripe for mining!

autodrama: automating away the jobs of dramautists. Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion

@BWC !nooticers

"I'm going to try it for the first time, do you have any reviews?"

"I looked at the list (a list of foreign men that members pass around) and it was the kid's dad."

"Is your peepee big?"

"Seongnam Pilot ○○○ Knowing Desi (Member Who Uses Dating App)?"

"I'm African and I'm not good at (s*x). The size was just like that."

The country's largest women-only community with 844,000 members has been embroiled in a controversy over the "women's version of the Nth room."

The 'Nth Room Incident', which broke out in February 2019, refers to a case of digital s*x crimes in which illegal pornography was created, traded, and distributed through a group chat room opened on Telegram. The victim was a woman and the perpetrator was a man. In the women's community, similar information is circulating, with only the genders of the victims and perpetrators reversed.

Community members were sharing detailed information about men they had met on dating apps that matched them with foreign men in the café, so-called "reviews."

Among them were minors. They post real photos of various foreign men and exchange information by obscenely mentioning the other person's appearance and genitals, such as "I have to do ○○", "I see ○○", and "I have seen this ○○○".

The so-called "U.S. Army Men Big Data Tank Count" list they shared in the café contained three pages of detailed information about U.S. soldiers. One member who seems to have taken the lead in making the list said, "I'm going to make it like an encyclopedia." There was also a "list of foreign men who use dating apps" shared among community members.

Attorney Kim Seung-hwan of GB Law Firm said, "Their actions may constitute a violation of the Information and Communications Network Act in that they are defamatory, and unauthorized disclosure of personal information may be punishable if it is done continuously or repeatedly under the Stalking Punishment Act."

According to the current law, a person who publicly discloses facts through an information and communication network for the purpose of slandering a person and defames another person shall be punished with imprisonment for not more than three years or a fine of not more than 30 million won, and a person who defames a person with false facts shall be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than seven years, suspension of qualification (occupational group) for not more than 10 years, or a fine of not more than 50 million won. A person who commits the crime of stalking shall be sentenced to up to three years in prison or fined not more than 30 million won.

Recently, the community took the lead in opposing the 2024 KXF The Fashion Festival, saying that it was an event that sexualized women. They called KXF a "prostitution expo" and joined a petition asking the local government to stop the event where KXF was scheduled to be held. Externally, while criticizing the sexual commodification of women, they point out that degrading men as sexual objects among themselves is not a double standard.

Community members opposed the KXF, saying, "It means not to do it in Korea at all. "Understand", "It's disgusting to look for other places", "I'm tired of it", "I'm suspicious why you can't do that", and "Dirty things". KXF, which features Japanese adult video (AV) actors, was eventually canceled after being "rejected by local governments and women's groups."

The sexual harassment approach of female community members towards foreigners also poses a risk of racism. In this community, foreign men are often referred to as objects of depersonalized sexual desire and consumption.

Koo Jeong-woo, a professor of sociology at Sungkyunkwan University, said, "There is a stereotype that men are the perpetrators and women are the victims of the so-called 'Nth room,' but this is an example that shows that women can be perpetrators at any time." He added, "Whether you are a man or a woman, you need to look at yourself to make sure that you are not participating in these sexual crimes."

nahhhhhhhhh blud is really on /r/drama instead of rDrama 💀