!animalposters there are bugs

!grillers !boozers I had some 6.8% beers

!thin git fit or get hit

!besties I wanted to share this with you!

!tops I topped a giant peepee rock

i've never been a social person because i've always been totally content riding solo instead of putting up with people and their endless bullshit. i'm not depressed, lonely, sad, anything i'm totally chill

She's beautiful. My chink in the (gay) armor. Anyone have anything they bought they're excited for post it.

The fricking cwowld metwl slid owor my skin like silk sliding dwown a fricking banyister. It dwoesn't take much pwessure wen u have a fricking sharp razwor. Bwood came pwouring immediatewy. That's a fricking gwood sign - the fricking deep cuts are fricking bwight white and take a fricking minyute two start bleeding. I am onye with the fricking pain because I deserve it fwor being worthless and a fricking piece of shit and a fricking bad perswon.

Am I bwoken that my mind cwonstantwy instwucts mwe two self-mutilate, b-word? It feels like there's a fricking gwoblin in my head (the Gwueswome Gwoblin) cwonstantwy egging mwe on two dwo the fricking nyeedfwl and start slicing. Can anyonye relate, b-word? I knyow I'm gwoing two dwo it again twomworwow and it's gwoing two be wose. The fricking cycle's begun again.

Big tobacco wants to give you the illusion that you can control your smoking by quitting any time with the aid of gums/lozenges. This is false. They will tell you to choose gums based on your daily number of cigarettes and in most cases people revert back to smoking when they are very tensed and want a quick hit instead of a slow release.

Break the cycle.

If you are a smoker or you know someone who is trying to quit, here's what you need to do.

1. Find out how many cigarettes you smoke daily.

2. Find out the approximate strength of the nicotine gums suited for you.

3. Find the nicotine gum one strength higher than what is suited for you. If you smoke 7 cigarettes daily and are told to take 2mg nicotine gums, go for the 4mg ones (which are for people who smoke 20+ in a day)

Your body will react violently to this overload of nicotine. Remember how I said people want a quick fix and not a slow release. The avalanche of nicotine from a 4mg taken by someone who should be taking 2mg will be equivalent to that quick fix plus a lot more. You will get physically sick by that overstimulation. Which is the point. To make your body see nicotine as an unfriendly stimulator. Over time, you'll become more and more cautious when you should take another gum. You can't take it just after lunch, you might throw up. Same thing after cardio. Your mind craves it but your body rejects it, so neither your intake not your toleration will increase.

Start today:

Take 2 4mg gums together right now and report back in an hour.

!nicotine !r-slurs

Got the bandages ready. It might be a pretty bloody night tonight.

Here's my fit rn leaving in 20 minutes

Should I do doordash poll

Was making corn beer in my pjs, had no pants pockets so I put it in my breast, bent over to stir a bucket and PLOP.

It still more or less works after a bunch of cleanings. Only issues have been it thinking I had wired headphones plugged in all the time.

!boozers learn from me

So she was a like a proper 8.5/10. I mean absolutely gorgeous except she was insecure about her condition which made her go overboard in her clothing and makeup choices, which is why I reduced 1.5 points. I was head over heels for her the moment I laid my eyes (😂) on her. Pretty soon we were talking, we were helping each other out with our studies and literally everyone knew within a month that we liked each other. Both of us were present for each other everywhere. Charades? We are on the same team. Group project? We're on same group.

If some random baseball match was going on, I would ask her who she would support based on the logos and then we would support them. It was so good.

Oh and she was fricking amazing in bed too.

Unfortunately nothing good lasts, and within 6 months we broke up.

See, all of the guys I have been friends with were pretty cool with her but one guy (let's call him Y) was too edgy. Whenever my ex (let's call her X) wasn't around, he would tell me to shake his hand or grab his wrist, and as I went for it he would look at the dude next to me and shout, guess who I am. I am X!! It's pretty funny in retrospect 😂 but I didn't find it funny then, although to be fair I didn't explode in anger and go full m'lady's honor on him too.

Anyway, matters started deteriorating soon, as I understood X wanted me to commit to her forever. She had created alternate timelines in her head and would spend hours daydreaming and telling me what school our kids would go to, which house we should buy etc etc. That she had told her parents about me and how awesome I am, why haven't I told my parents about how awesome she is. It's pretty cute to listen to that for 5 minutes, not for hours. And it's unbearable to listen to that chick shit constantly for days. And her style and fashion choices too started to grate on me. It was gaudy and garish as frick.

One example would be where we were going to hike a small hill during fall and the temperature would be expected to have dropped at the most to 40-50 degrees. There were 6 guys and 5 girls. We all had either a sweatsuit, or a light jacket or just a plain sweater on top of our shirts.

She had an exotic fur overcoat with a Dolce and Gabbana big butt belt and boots that looked like it was made for a SS officer rather than for hiking. Not only me, but literally everyone in our group was embarassed of her as we passed other hiking groups. Who's gonna tell her she looks like a jackass? Y even came up to me at one point and asked me "bro are you sure she can look at the mirror correctly?" Even I laughed.

Anyway since we spent so much time together, it didn't take her long before she realized I was pulling away from her. She tried to confront me about it once or twice but I just brushed her off saying we do a lot of things together and she's overthinking. But it was true. It was tiring to be with her. She simultaneously wanted to do the most classic girly stuff and yet wanted me to see her as "not like other girls".

Anyway, I won't go into the details, but finally I came out of the closet of dead relationships and told her yes I miss being single. She immediately threw a violent fit, breaking almost everything. I grabbed my laptop and phone and watched her in amusement breaking and wrecking everything. She broke her own laptop and phone and printer. She burnt all my class notes (😂😂😂) and threw the photo I had of my brother at my head. It missed by a large margin.

That was the last straw. I burst out laughing and told her (still grabbing my laptop and phone) "is there a reason why your aim is so poor". She just stared at me for a second and then sat down on the floor wailing, crying herself to bits. In between her sobs she yelled nonsense made up slurs at me (I still don't know what a kangaroo legged son of a b-word means 😂😂😂).

I realized this is my chance, grabbed whatever remained salvageable, went down to the landlord (he was already on the stairway), told him I would cover the next 3 months rent (the lease was ending after 3 months) even though I'm not going to be staying there anymore and moved in with the boys in another apartment.

Although while she was crying, I stayed on the hallway with all my stuff keeping an eye on her so that she doesn't try to commit suicide or do something stupid and called all of her friends. 2 of whom came within half an hour at which point I bailed. If she found a scissor or something and aimed it at the wall, it might actually blind or go in my neck who tf knows.

For the remaining 1 year and 2 or 3 months she didn't say a single word to me. She didn't tell anyone what I had said to her that day that made her cry but it was a great hit among the guys when I told it, quite frequently, at house parties.

That still is the funniest way I have ever broken up with somebody.

!r-slurs and !male feminists what's the funniest way you have dumped or been dumped by someone?

@Aevann please sir effortpost. My thumbs are sore.

Alright so I just got expelled from school https://t.co/IVQivqDoLt

— 🤑🦍🟩⬜🟩TheNIGGAryan🤰🏻🔫👨🏿🗣️🔥 (@AntiHateComms) April 26, 2024

I am back home from getting my abcess drain removed. Feels like I need a Norco, !druggies lmao. Luckily I have plenty. There was only one painful part of the no prep, no pain med surgical removal, but I'll be able to work in about a week and a half again. Gotta make that money ASAP after feeding my Roth IRA as much as it's fat maw could take.

Feminine medicine is a world apart from what I thought it would be entering my 30th year. Most of my initial doctors on this case, which was caused by abnormal streptococcus infection and nothing more, were assuming up and down that I had caught an STD to cause this orange-sized tubo-ovarian abcess. But big shocker, I stand with my bf and he stands with me, we'd never waste this relationship on affairs

Want to hear REAL drama? Even my father assumed I had caught something more.... shameful, shall we say? It's completely driven my mom into a frenzy. He and I've hashed it out with no issue though

Anyway, I pray for a speedy recovery, and I urge anyone reading this to please consider seeing their physical pain as more serious than, "I need to take a sick day." If my abcess had burst, it would have been a 100% fatality

Also, I goombled !goomblers my online pittance away while in the hospital for 4 days, please up or down vote so that I may continue my degenerative coin farming venture

!male feminists what's your favorite drink?

I was approved for paratransit so now I get people drive me directly to places instead of taking the bus bus in the short bus.

Does anyone else ride the short bus for special people?

I'm like Israelite being led into canaan by Moses thirtsy. I'm like starving Afrrican child thirtsy.

The water here costs two dollars.

I'm gonna fricking die for real for real

Whoever named this is a jester.

I wasn't even thinking about this. I was making some joke to one of my guys about this very openly gay and very short guy in the HR department that the dood is very obviously a FtM. I asked him if he transitioned from a girl would he need a phalloplasty or a vaginoplasty because I had no clue whether plasty means addition or subtraction.

The guy I was talking to didn't know either. So we searched and obviously(in hindsight) plasty means plus.

It hit me then why rhinoplasty is called that. Fricking crazy bro.

RIP to

@AuntyAbortionButTrans

@UncleAbortionWorkAccount

@pennyoaken

@MistressGigglez

All shadowbanned probably due to @Lappland's false allegations linking them to transb-word.

Also who the frick is @UncleAbortionSneedAccount you got caught up in this anyway r-slur.

If this account gets shadowed remember my last words:

Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Non-binary identifies are valid.

@Grue you're a snitch and a liar and I hold you responsible for this.