As you probably know by now, I'm a sick, sick man. I am diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder along with OCD. This has affected my life negatively, but I'm still alive which more than many can say. Today, I'm going to explain the ins and outs of Bipolar Disorder. I hope you enjoy the short read.

What is Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental disorder characterised by mood swings. In other words, the sufferer may have periods of great euphoria followed by an irrational manic-depressive episode. During the upswing, a Bipolar patient will experience the following:

• euphoria

• high motivation

• irritability

• risky behaviour

• heightened sexual activity

I am currently in an upswing and I have very little need for sleep. Five hours or less is enough for now, which is partially why I have time for this shit. I also feel highly productive and cannot stop myself from producing something. I wish I was a genius so I could channel this energy into something other than rdrama posts that 12 people will upvote and cause 3 people to block me. After the upswing comes the downswing which consists of depression, suicidal thoughts, a lack of motivation, and self-harm. How much self-harm? It is estimated that 30-40% of folks with Bipolar Disorder will engage in self-harming behaviour. Upswings and downswings are usually not congruent with what is going on in the person's life. For example, someone with a good life may find themselves in a downswing while others may experience a euphoric downswing as they ruin their life.

Quick notes from Holly!

Holly says to take benzos, avoid sleep, play The Last of Us Part 2, and listen to Cocaine 80s. In between these activities, make shitposts on rdrama.

How quickly do these mood swings occur? Well, it depends on what kind of Bipolar disorder one suffers from. With Bipolar I and II, each upswing and downswing can last weeks to months. However, there exists rapid cyclic bipolar which is typically characterised as a series of 4 or more upswings or downswings occurring within a 12-month period. Symptoms typically begin to manifest in one's early twenties, though signs may appear during teen years or it could onset in one's late twenties.

Difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II

Though Bipolar I and II share many similarities, there are some key differences. Most notably, one can only be diagnosed with Bipolar I if they experience a manic episode. A manic episode is characterized by psychotic symptoms such as visual and audio hallucinations. Other symptoms include:

• racing thoughts

• disinhibited social behaviour

• hypersexuality

• feelings of grandiosity

• pressured speech

For example, someone may feel that they are receiving messages from God, hear divine voices calling their name, believe they can change the world, or are on a special mission. With the propensity for risky behaviour comes increased drug use and risky sexual behaviour. Such individuals typically end up requiring involuntary institutionalization, and they demonstrate decreased activity in the lingual gyrus region of the brain and decreased activity in the inferior frontal cortex. In contrast, Bipolar II patients suffer from hypomania which is more subdued and less likely to ruin someone's life, but is nonetheless still highly disruptive. They do not experience the psychotic aspects of mania and do not usually require hospitalization during a hypomanic episode.

What goes up must come down. When the mania or hypomania is up, we get to the depressive stage. This is usually a period filled with great regret, melancholy, and a downswing in one's mood. This period is usually longer than the hypomanic or manic phase and this is when the self-harm and suicidal ideation slips in. Activities that were once enjoyed now feel dull, and constant sleep is common. During one of my downswings this year, I had to be hospitalized after severe self-harming.

But wait! There's a third option! Some people suffer from mixed affective state. This is when a person experiences an upswing and downswing simultaneously. This is common in patients with rapid cyclic bipolar where the mood swings occur so quickly, they don't have time to resolve.

What causes Bipolar Disorder

It is currently not known precisely what causes Bipolar Disorder though it is estimated that it is 70-90% genetic with a minimal environment factor. For example, an abusive childhood can aggravate the condition or a significant life event such as the loss of a loved one.

Scientists have zoned in on variants within the genes CACNA1C, ODZ4, and NCAN, and polymorphisms in BDNF, DRD4, DAO, and TPH1. The end-result is dysregulation in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex portion of the brain.

Treatment of Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is treated through a combination of therapy and medication. Currently, I am on lithium (a controversial mood stabilizer) and Abilify (an antipsychotic). Previously I have also been on sodium valproate and serdep. And of course, I have been given a plethora of benzodiazepines. Typical therapy methods include CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy).

It is difficult to treat Bipolar disorder because those with the illness are often in denial about it and resistant to treatment. This is especially true during manic episodes. Hence, more than 75% of individuals with BD inconsistently take their medications for various reasons.

Bipolar Disorder memes and infographics

Conclusion

I hate being bipolar. It's awesome.

Tune in next time when I discuss the function of the foreskin or the Beat Generation or some shit.

You will never be Holly's son.

!biofoids where can we find you? To date. For guys 5/10 or below who can't use Tinder.

In previous posts, I made it quite clear that driving there was the primary challenge. In this case, I realized I'd have to deal with ramps, which terrify me, as well as the freeway which involves driving fast.

Like a little b-word, I missed my first ramp but I think I subconsciously did it on purpose because I was scared, but later on, there was another ramp that I entered. Sweaty hands on the steering wheel, I had to push my car faster than its ever been, at some points reaching higher than 140km/h.

To my surprise, the fear subsided once I realized that on high-speed roads, most people are extremely forgiving, and generally are just trying to get home. I overtook a lot of slow cars, which is something I seldom do. I also saw a car hit the curb, as well as a car. As sinister as it may sound, these things proved to me that I'm not the only one who can get involved in a car accident - it's pretty much unpreventable if you're going to drive.

The only bad thing that happened wasn't my fault. Some inattentive minibus driver throws on his hazards and stops in the middle of the road to pick up his passengers. It was the first time in my life I literally swerved and if I didn't reach fast enough I could have potentially been a mass murderer because it's always your fault if you rear-end someone.

Needless to say, the fear of driving has subsided, and dare I say it, with some good music and a nice view, it can be enjoyable. I recognize how deadly it is, and I don't know if the car accident flashbacks will stop, but driving 3 hours for the full trip and back is something to add to the cookie jar.

==========

Quick notes from Holly!

The cookie jar is a concept from Dave Goggins. Basically, you collect your best moments in life, your achievements, the times you proved to yourself that you're capable of something, and you add them to a mental cookie jar.

Far be it for me to make assumptions but I doubt any of us here are Navy Seals or ultramarathon runners. Still, we have our small achievements. Getting a job, a promotion, having the courage to break up with someone toxic - these are all cookies.

During your hardest moments, pull out the jar, and have a nibble. It'll give you the motivation you need to keep going.

==========

At first, I felt like I could only drive places I was familiar with, and in the morning when there's no traffic. Now I know I can handle the streets like the OG I was born to be. Send me anywhere and anytime and I can get there.

Lastly, truck drivers are based. They'll literally stop on the side of the road to let traffic pass to prevent lines from building up behind them. Support your local truck driver!

The Skydive

I arrived at the skydiving location. All the staff was gregarious, and I tried to match their energy. For example, when one guy asked about myself, I also asked him the same question. There was a secretary named C. And I made sure to call her by her name when we exchanged words.

There is a moment I'm particularly proud of, even though it's minor. So I wasn't the only diver. I was accompanied by a young girl, probably in her twenties. Gorgeous 9/10 white girl with braids.

She stood beside me and our equipment as we waited for the instructor to return. I turned to her and greeted her. She said hi back but she was very shy. I then told her my fricking name. She shared hers. I forgot what it was but it was a Nordic-sounding name beginning with a G. This is the first time in my life I've gotten this far in a casual conversation with a woman.

I could tell that she didn't want to chat so I didn't badger her any longer (I don't think she was pissed, just introverted) so I left her alone after that.

We then got on the plane. What do you think the most interesting thing on the plane was? The gorgeous girl? The equipment? The view of the coast below? Nay, none of this is what sticks in my mind.

What has captured me is the sense of camaraderie I saw between all the workers. I don't think you can call it friendship. A different kind of love develops between people when they're risking their lives together. I'm sure I'd see the same thing in the military. These weren't bros. They were brothers.

Far less interesting but still notable was how it was obvious that the girl was scared of jumping. Doing this was overcoming a fear as I said prior. This didn't really activate my fear response. On the other hand, talking to everyone there, telling her my name, far more terrifying moments for me.

The plane flew higher, ascending like an albatross in the late afternoon. This time, the door was wide open so I could see more of just how high we were. Again, what scared me the most was not following instructions and pissing my instructor off.

When we reached the right altitude, we jumped - and that was it. I hurtled to the ground but I felt nothing. If anything, it was peaceful. I could feel the change in temperate as we descended, then when it felt like we were headed for certain death, he opened the parachute.

Still, the ride wasn't over. He could do loops with the parachute like a rollercoaster. That part I liked. We eventually landed and I was left with the looming thought of “why the frick did I do that?”.

I want a gf.

Being an advice takercel

So many of you have told me to not get a piercing and to slow down with the benzos. Okay, I will. I will only take my medication as instructed and I will not pierce my face for now at least.

Benzos don't kill you automatically. They frick with you if you abuse them, which I have been doing because I got prescribed so darn much. Correct usage can be extremely helpful in ceasing panic attacks, reducing anxiety, and preventing self-harm compulsions. Benzos are medicine. The devil is in the dosage.

Some skydiving advice - wear gloves. it felt like my hands were freezing off!

A toast!

As I was hurtling from the sky, it became obvious that while physical activity is important to prevent fatness, it doesn't challenge me. The things that make me suffer are social. That's the direction I need to go in.

So I'll still join the hiking club, but that's more for cardio. Instead, I want to join the local Toastmasters society near me. I want to master public speaking, control a room with my words, and learn how to have a presence. Toastmasters is the way.

Plot hole in Stan by Eminem

In the last verse, Eminem plays himself and speaks about a news story he saw (obviously about Stan). However, he states the following:

Well this is bullshit. It did say it was to you. the tape mentions him multiple times, even quoting his lyrics.

1. Hey Slim, drank a fifth of Vodka, dare me to drive?

2. I loved you Slim, we could have been together

3. See Slim (screaming) shut up b-word I'm tryna talk

4. Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk

Gee, I wonder who the guy with Eminem's name tattooed across his chest was addressing. The only was this makes sense is if the tape was water damaged or something, preventing the contents from being heard.

You're in denial, it was always obvious it was addressed to you.

Conclusion

My only question is what time frame am I looking at? Months? Years? How long does it take a 156cm man trying to improve improve himself to find a gf. If I had some idea, it would give me hope.

I hope you've all had a great week. I know we're all battling our own demons and I want you to know you're not alone. We will suffer together, and we will find the light together.

• why male genital mutilation is just as bad as female genital mutilation

• Christchurch massacre

• Oxford shooting

I posted this back when /r/drama hadn't been completely cucked by the admins, but it had a lot of info and names redacted because of the potential dox. It's almost 4 years later now and probably nobody gives a shit anymore, so here it is again.

Our story begins in 2016 when guncel poweruser Topgunebay gives Kilo Guns, an Arizona gun shop, two incredibly rare Russian parts kits, one for Kilo Guns to assemble as a pistol and the other for Kilo to keep as payment for finishing the first kit. To Topgunebay's surprise, instead of fulfilling his obligation, Kilo Guns takes the kit he was supposed to assemble into semi-automatic pistol and turns it into a machine gun instead. That's a problem, because as a private citizen without a dealer/manufacturer license, there's no way that Topgunebay can ever take possession of the gun back in its current form. According to the ATF, once a machine gun, always a machine gun, so it can only ever be in the possession of law enforcement, other licensed dealers/manufacturers, or it can be destroyed. Over the course of two years, Topgunebay hounds Kilo Guns to get his shit back to no avail, while Kilo whores off his stolen Vityaz on Instagram.

lol he literally took a photo of the same angle every season in 2018

https://instagram.com/p/BdFzG5vlEVd/

https://instagram.com/p/Ben-4qHF8Y0/

https://instagram.com/p/BqxNKkAHV7y/

https://instagram.com/p/BoooRupndc3/

https://instagram.com/p/BjupkKLncGP/

https://instagram.com/p/Bh90s9RHg9W/

https://instagram.com/p/BfY21l0F49t/

SHOW MORE

Background

Warhammer 40k is the worlds most popular tabletop miniatures wargame and attracts over 9000 nerds every year to empty their wallets buying overpriced figures. The Horus Heresy (HH) is a time period set in the 10,000 years before Warhammer 40k, thus it is called 30k for short. It was supposed to be about the good times before the galaxy turned to shit and war all the time, but when they decided to write 500 books about the HH it all sounded suspiciously similar to the grimdarkness of 40k.

If you don't know anything about this series I want you to read every word on this page and then click every link. I will explain no further because you're not entitled to my emotional labor sweaty. (https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Horus_Heresy)

Now that the final book is out and the Horus Heresy is over let's see what the fa/tg/uys on a mongolian basket weaving forum think.

Now that the most epic novel series in history has ended, what do you think about it? What is your general opinion of the Horus Heresy?

I think it's based because it made fat stacks of cash caring about anything besides profit motive is for lorestrags

Kind of underwhelming, but that's more or less what I was expecting it to be.

fpbp

It should have remained an uncertain vaguely defined mythic past. The demystification of the Horus Heresy is the single most damaging thing GW has done to the setting since its inception. And all that damage, just for a hundred books of daddy issue shlock. Jesus Christ.

Elaborating on what happened in Horus Heresy ruined the whole mood of the HH setting. Horus Heresy should've been the tales of epic battles and conflicting myths that historians had to argue on which ones were the truths. It should've been the Epic of Gilgamesh of 40k, but instead we got fricking capeshit into it.

Nerds screw everything by insisting every loose thread or unclarified apocrypha get a spin off series running twleve seasons minimum with a breakfast cereal.

(also I think they have 40k funkopops )

>frick there's so many contradictory accounts of who runs into the throne room, plus we have our pet characters we want to shove in there too

>what the frick are we going to do

>how about we have all of them conga line in?

>genius, print it!

It's hilariously stupid

I read the first half dozen and a couple of others. I might read a few more of the ones that cover actually significant events rather than just treading water. Eventually. Perpetuals are still r-slurred.

They ruined more than they add, but I do enjoy the odd novels here and there. I just wish they'd lean more into the vagueness of it all, like having conflicting information between novels and characters, just to make it less a canon novel and more in-universe records of the events. Also >>91714956 is correct, Perpetual is an r-slured concept.

In case you're wondering a perpetual is an author invention where they thought inserting random human OCs that are totes immortal, and come back from the dead in a setting about constant war and dying, would be super cool and not dampen the setting or their heroic sacrifices at all.

(I haven't read these books so don't ask me to elaborate on my smugposting about someone else smugposting)

In the end, was there some nameless soldier torn to shreds by Horus in front of the Emprah or not? I don't care enough to read 500 pages.

More or less. He's a perpetual, so he's got a lot more experience with a guardsmen (which understandably pisses a lot of people off) but he is ultimately just a guy armed with a lasgun and his balls.

>Originally just a marine

>Fans take the idea and make it of a normal relatively unremarkable dude, the whole point being that its not anyone important, just a normal man standing there.

>It becomes incredibly popular, to the point where you have to remind people its not the origional story

>BL takes the idea and missed the entire point by making him a perpetual, some immortal (for no reason) super hero that they inserted for no reason

Gosh, this was all a huge mistake.

The single worst thing about the series is making the setting revolve around highlander knockoffs, who have no relevance to anything outside their novels, except to be OC donut steals for the authors to mouth off with. Even though the emperor, pre-history, and arguably primarchs should have remained mysterious and ambiguous, the lore of the perpetuals sucks in its own right even prior to considering how much else they shut the door on and devalue.

For the zoomers in the audience

this is a good point. Perpetuals are such a spectacularely tone-deaf and useless addition that it feels like a shitpost. They could not have made the feeling of the setting more awkwardly inconsistent if they had decided that every 200th person born in the Imperium has a big dildo growing out of their forehead but up till now nobody has mentioned them - now though, read all about Inquisitor dildohead and make your own dildohead space marine chapter and didn't you know that Dante has a dildo growing out of his forehead under his mask?

dildoman is living rent free

The lore speculations as to what he was were more interesting than being told that he was just one of many randomly born highlanders who overlevelled and bit off more than he could chew in PVP with the chaos gods, because he was too toxically masculine to listen to the "earth mother" and the whiny narcissist perpetuals who critically sabotaged him.

bc he was too to listen to and

Plus perpetuals are fricking dumb. Throw that shit in the trash. Emps should have been the last of the Men of Gold trying desperately to right the sinking ship after the DAoT. He gained huge psychic power by devouring the Sigilittes of which he spares Malcador because he defected. This allows him to be seen both as "the best of humanity" seeing as the men of gold were the best. A "shaman gestalt" if you see the Sigilittes as shaman. & a powerful relic of the DAoT in being the last truly powerful figure of that time. In my headcanon this is the best way to bring it all together. You don't need to agree with me

this is not the worst idea I've heard, and I've read a lot of trash opinions on /tg/

>Erebus

>The anathame

>Changing the ending

There were so many problems but these are probably the greatest ones. Black Library comes out looking so fricking mid from this series. Forget the promise of a golden, nigh-mythical age of which so much has been forgotten. Forget the promise of legendary demigods encompassing all the greatness and good of mankind falling into the rank madness of Chaos in payment for their sins, for they are just playthings of a single super-plotter who walks around with evil tattooed on his face.

Erebus and the Anathame being the prime cause weakened the entire Horus Heresy because it instantly made readers ask why couldn't someone have just realized he was a fricking sus mofo and knifed him before he did anything with the magic McGuffin. It was so damaging that they had to damage control and go "nononono, Horus was already turning on the Emperor and his brothers before this! It's not because some mook with a knife tainted him!" when, of course, that's literally how they portrayed it. And Erebus just conveniently shows up everywhere to serve as the prime motivator

Erebus and the Anathame basically read like the authors thought the audience would be too stupid to understand resentment, jealousy, ambition, and pride driving the most powerful of warlords to rise up against their father, so BL decided that they needed a real antagonist and a magic item to make plot happen at the start of the series.

Speak your truth King

In the original (real) 40k background, Horus is an obvious Lucifer figure who takes half the angels with him instead of a third because it's a grimmer, darker, edgier setting. He was the best of the Emperor's Primarchs but comes to believe he can run things better than the Emperor himself and so turns on him. This fits with him continuing the crusade, doing all the work as far as he can see, yet being told to just turn over everything he has conquered to his father. Why? Having seen all he has seen, met the corruption of chaos on the fringes beyond mankind, being the best warlord he knows of, trusted by his men, why not conquer the Imperium for himself?

All the headcannonn the authors madeup about the Emperor making a webway is meant to explain the question the original story begged

>what is the Emperor busy with that's more important than the crusade? Why can't he keep leading on the frontline? Is he just lazy?

but it replaces one problem with another

>why couldn't the Emperor simply tell the primarchs what he was up to?

>or get someone like Pertubo or Dorn or Ferrus to help him build faster

>why the need for secrecy from his own?

"perpetuals" one of the worst concepts introduced by the bad writers. There are multiple earlier explanations of the Emperor's origin which are better. Rick Priestly's unofficial headcanon (as it was supposed to be a mystery allowing the player to create his own story) was the Emperor was an AI from the Dark Age of Tech who needed psychic souls to run. The reason it seemed so callous was because it did completely lack sympathy. It led for mankind to survive at all costs with no consideration given the suffering of an individual imperial serf. Like Caesar's ideal for the Legion in FNV.

Another superior origin for the Emperor from earlier was a bunch of shaman, noticing how daemons born of human emotions were getting more powerful, and starting to eat them thereby empowering themselves and preventing psykers from reincarnating, performed a ritual of group-suicide, whereby they all merged in the warp to make 1 super-psyer, more powerful than any of the daemons, and reincarnate as this ubermensch.

Also, here's some gay redditors talking about the book: https://old.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/1ad2xca/just_finished_end_and_the_death_vol_iii_and_now?sort=controversial

People spoiling it: https://old.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/1ac2nzm/the_end_and_the_death_vol_iii_spoilers_summary?sort=controversial

People complaining they can't buy the book: https://old.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/1ac2nzm/the_end_and_the_death_vol_iii_spoilers_summary?sort=controversial

@jannys please do the sneedful and pin this effortpost

I browsed a thread some time ago, and the site owner of Userbenchmarks apparently has notoriety for being biased towards GPS, and lets his bias influence his site.

Now this is something i personally never knew or knew about any drama revolving around the. I would use https://www.userbenchmark.com for quickly checking rough comparisons between laptops, to Graphics cards, or way back in 2019 when i built my beastly budget beast gaymer desktop. But i never ever exclusively relied upon one site or source for determining a component's actual strength - the only real way to determine actual real world performance that wasn't advertiser bullshit, was to check out Youtube gaymer turbo autists which demonstrated the performance of the laptop or component at various benchmarks or current released high level intense games to see actual real world comparisons.

But holy smokes, it seems /r/PCMasterRace realllly hates the site. But even as i was reading through the thread I couldn't determine why, in what aspect was this site biased?

Finally a day later, as the top comments surfaced, I realized the site https://www.userbenchmark.com, apparently had a thing against AMD (one of the two most prominent Graphics Cards manufacturers in the global industry).

https://old.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/185folc/4070_ti_vs_rx_7900_xtx/kb1qqu7?context=8&sort=controversial

"According to the guy that runs that site, an i5 from two generations ago is better than the the latest consumer ones from AMD." Summed up in this comment - so apparently the site owner is amanufacturer fanboi, no not a fricking ConsoleWar fanboi, but a fricking manufacturer fanboi lmoa

Like holy smokes, imagine /r/hailcorporate nonsense, where fat nerds fight like they did during the 2010-2011 era about whether their Gaystation or Xbone console was better and had better games, but instead now it's for fricking what Graphics card you have in your desktop

https://old.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/185folc/4070_ti_vs_rx_7900_xtx/kb39y0y?context=8&sort=controversial

Some further tech jardon i dont completely understand, but apparantly Userbenchmarks.com is sucking Intel and Nviea off

One user then goes on to link a classical comparison between AMD and Intel Processors

https://cpu.userbenchmark.com/Compare/Intel-Core-i5-13600K-vs-AMD-Ryzen-9-7950X/4134vs4133

and even an illiterate tech-illiterate moron like me can spy something very wrong from an instant glance. The Ryzen processors were AMD's answer to the much more worldly famous intel dominated market, and in 2019 era, they were shockingly good, especially for their prices. I know this, because i had researched flagship and entry processors from both companies. The comparisons were very basic. A ryzen 3 was roughly the equivalent of an intel3, a Ryzen 5 to intel 5, ryzen 7 to intel 7, ect ect

often the Ryzen equivalents was 20% slower than their intel peers, but could be as much as 40-50% cheaper, least in RSA in that time. An as far as I know this trend has not altered that mich in past 2 years.

So when an i5 workhorse Intel CPU is apparently the equal of a Ryzen 9 flagship turbo chip, then you know someone, somewhere is taking the piss.

For anyone currently looking to compare components, the only definitive answer is to go to Youtube and search comparisons between two desired chips/processors/GPUs ect, and see the real world performance rather than some r-slurs say so. There's enough benchmark turbo autists who will cover the product u want.

https://old.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/185folc/4070_ti_vs_rx_7900_xtx/kb1brck?context=8&sort=controversial

Another example of the long and short summarized:

https://old.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/185folc/4070_ti_vs_rx_7900_xtx/kb2caes?context=8&sort=controversial

Basically the site algorithm appears to heavily weight down the performance comparisons of AMD products.

ALSO. apparently the Userbenchmarks fights are so common that an automated message is replied to any comment linking to Userbenchmarks.com

Previously, I had declared my feelings of affection to a female friend of mine (let's just call her Sarah because her name is Sarah). The feelings were not reciprocated, but she let me down in a weird way, she spoke about how she doesn't know how she feels, but she's not looking for a relationship at the moment. She embraces the asexuality meme which is partially how we ended up being friends.

More recently, I decided to give it another shot but to be more tactful this time. I told her I don't think I'm asexual anymore, and that I want to be in a relationship. Once again, she reiterated that she doesn't know how she feels and that a relationship isn't what she wants. Nevertheless, as always, she was nice about it and continues to actively pursue my friendship and constantly tells me she loves me.

At first, this confused me. However, I think I have some of it figured out. I have learned a bit about women and human relationships in general from this experience, and I'd like to share some of the reasons why it's almost certainly a bad idea to pursue your female friends. Now, of course there will be exceptions. Sometimes your female friend genuinely does like you and you'll have a romcom moment. My point is that that's probably not the case, and while you may view the friendship with rose-tinted glasses, she sees things totally differently.

1. They're used to it

Since they started developing breasts, women have been the center of sexual attention. It comes from all angles including older men, teachers, family members, and even other women. At some point, they get used to it and it becomes background noise. "Yes, he's ogling my breasts but I need to finish scanning my groceries".

The sexual attention also comes from male friends. You're NOT the first male friend to express romantic emotions, and you won't be the last. She's turned all of them down, what makes you think things will be different with you? She's used to it, she probably saw it coming, and she doesn't want it. If she did, you wouldn't have to ask because she'd make it obvious to you that she's romantically interested.

Now, there is the possibility of misreading signals, which brings us to the next point.

2. Women genuinely have platonic feelings

This is not to say that men are incapable of having platonic relationships. Nay, that is not my point. My argument is that it is much harder for men to do so. People shit on Steve Harvey but he was 100% correct when he said the following:

Things aren't the same with women. They can genuinely love you deeply without any sexual or romantic feelings. Why is this? Women don't have to deal with the famine mentality. For many men, s*x and love are scarce resources, so when it even vaguely seems like there's an opportunity for it, the feelings come on strong. Hence the cliche of "the cashier smiled at me now I want to marry her". (Most) women aren't leading you on intentionally when they allow intimacy into a friendship. That's the way friendships should be. But it doesn't mean she wants anything sexual or romantic.

3. You're in love because you're lonely

This is probably the crux of the issue. When you're starving, even a mud pie looks delicious. As men, you will face long stretches of loneliness and never being told you're beautiful, attractive, or worthy of anything. Inasmuch as catcalling and sexual objectification should be chastised, it at least serves as some kind of validation of one's attractiveness.

A friendship with a woman can bring about those feelings of validation within men and if you're not ready for it, it's going to develop into obsessive love. If you had higher self-esteem, more experience with women, or a source of love, your friendships with women would be completely normal and platonic. It's when these elements are missing that any smile, hug, or eye-gaze turns into fantasies of marriage.

When she inevitably turns you down, what are you left with? Nothing yet again. Nobody to say they love you or assure you that you are wanted in this world.

Things get more complicated if you're an introvert. Most relationships seem useless unless you're benefitting considerably. In your mind the thinking is "I'd only put this much effort into a relationship if I had romantic feelings". Whereas if the woman is an extrovert, it isn't costing her much mental energy to maintain the relationship. I hope that make sense.

4. She knows already

Don't bother. She already knows you like her. She accepts that as part of the cost of the friendship. That's not a bad thing. It means there's something good about you that she wants in her life even if its not of the romantic nature. You should be flattered by this even if it is heartbreaking at times.

Some women are a bit mean with this. They essentially get everything they would get from a boyfriend (someone to talk to, someone to take care of them) without the need to commit. But that's not always the case. In my case, Sarah goes out her way to be nice to me and to spend time with me. She's not using me for anything - a genuine, platonic friendship is all she wants. It's hard for my brain to wrap my head around it. I thought it was obvious that she felt something. Maybe I had to take the lead and break the ice? Nah, I'm convinced she knew ages ago I liked her but loved me enough to still be my friend despite not sharing romantic feelings.

5. You may lose everything

Life is about taking risks so I don't want to stress this point too much. However, if she doesn't already know and you spring it up on her, she may never trust you again and you will lose all the intimacy of your friendship. She will remain guarded around you, and perhaps even think of you as a slimy coomer who tried to use friendship to get into her pants. Shit can get brutal.

I've been lucky to have an understanding friends who has continued to be nice to me. I know that this isn't the case for everyone, and it also depends on how you respond to the rejection.

CONCLUSION

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings to experience. It's like a knife constantly twisting in your chest. But it's part of life for most of us. A lucky few will find high-school sweethearts and never have to play the dating game, but for most of us, we're going to get rekt a couple times before we find the right one (if we ever do). Please, for the love of god, don't go looking for a girlfriend from your female friends. There's a difference between a girl friend and a girlfriend.

I'm probably preaching to the choir, and this may be obvious to most people here. But I know there are some autists who may need to read this to spare themselves the heartache I went through. The funny part is that if you're in love, nothing I write is going to change anything. You'll think your case is different. You'll try your luck. And you'll get rekt. But don't let me stop you. Some mistakes are meant to be made.

I know the asexuality meme isn't true. One day, she'll find a guy she likes (not me) and all that asexuality shit will disappear. And when it happens it will hurt like heck. However, I'm prepared, and I'll still be her friend. I'm wiser now thanks to the mistakes I've made. Thanks for reading.

Remember the massive scandal that tore the world asunder during the 2022 Olympic Games when Russian figure skater Kamila Valieva was caught doping?

Of course you do. There's no way you could have missed my Pullitzer-deserving posts that are still held up today as the greatest examples of longform journ*lism to ever grace this planet.

• [Effortpost] Olympic Figure Skating Scandal Roundup: Abuse, Anorexia, and Performance-Enhancing Girlpills

• [Effortpost] Figure Skating Scandal Part II: A big win for the drug legalization movement

• [Effortpost] Olympic Figure Skating Part III: Conclusion - Meltdowns on Ice

Dénouement

Despite being caught red handed (red urined?), Valieva was not simply stripped of her title. Russia and its eurocrat minions insisted that nobody rush to judgment. Perhaps she accidentally drank from the same glass as her grandfather who has a prescription for doping drugs? (Yes, that was unironically their excuse.) So everyone was left in limbo with her competitors not allowed to receive their medals.

Let's not blame Valieva too much. When you're 15 and the KGB tells you to take a pill you're probably going to take it.

Finally after 2 years of sitting on their asses, the international Court for Arbitration of Sport has ruled that cheating is actually against the rules so she doesn't get any medals. This bumps up her Russian rivals Anna Shcherbakova and Alexandra Trusova to gold and silver respectively in the ladies' event. Kaori Sakamoto, a favorite of all true fans worldwide, picks up the bronze.

Sakamoto deserved it.

But Kamila wasn't just competing for herself. She also represented Russia in the team event that includes ladies, men, pairs, and ice dancing. With her scores thrown out the result is a decisive win by Team USA, the most crushing victory ever delivered in human history since Hannibal smashed the Romans at Cannae.

Hannibal was a great general but I never heard of him landing a quad in competition. Just saying.

Japan will take silver. The International Skating Union put out a curious statement saying Russia still gets bronze even after Valieva's scores are thrown out. The Canadians are understandably furious as Russian cheating should completely disqualify the whole team. It's amazing how much the ISU is still a joke after all this.

Team USA

Suggested soundtrack for this section.

Nathan Chen

Johnny Weir once accidentally called him "Nathan Quad" because you can't talk about him without mentioning his flawless quad jumps that brought the men's game to a whole new level. But he was also a master of every facet of the sport.

Vincent Zhou

Not just a kid with quads, he brought artistry that I don't believe we've ever seen from a man. If his program to Don McLean's "Vincent" didn't move you then you have no soul.

Karen Chen

I must admit some bias as she is perhaps the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on ice. A skater with the grace that only comes from the heart, not obscure heart medications.

Alexa Knierim and Brandon Frazier

Our pairs. After skating with others they found each other, and eternal glory, at Beijing 2022.

Ice Dancers

There were also ice dancers on the team, but I don't consider ice dancing a real sport. It's a Cold War communist conspiracy just like ribbon gymnastics. I'll just say that our people beat the Russians at their own game.

Reactions

The face of evil.

That vile witch Eteri put out a statement throwing Kamila under the bus, pretending that this 15 year old girl was the mastermind of the doping plot. Eteri even has the gall to act like somehow she's the victim in all this.

This is a more bitter loss to him than the catastrophe at Kyiv.

The Russian people are no doubt facing shock and grief as they find that no amount of cheating, lying, or brute force can triumph over America and the Free World.

They should have been paying attention back in the '80s. They might have learned a very simple truth:

WINNERS DON'T DO DRUGS.